Kinsanity - Real Life Family Dysfunction

160 opinions for My Family is The 100 Acre Wood

• Dominick
  Oct 13, 2008 at 12:00 pm

  Interesting post. My son is bi-polar (he also has Asperger’s Syndrome which is an Autistic Spectrum Disorder). His Aspergers makes him socially awkward. His bi-polar makes him rude, inappropriate and thoughtless towards others.

  Even with guidance, those with bi-polar can be difficult to live with. My son is homeschooled and every day, its a fight to get him to do his schoolwork. He never learns that doing his homework comes with reward. Even when its reiterated and taught over and over to him. Sure, he’s extremely intelligent, but he has some mechanism in his brain that makes him say no even if he knows doing his homework is the right thing to do.

  We’ve tried to give our son more responsibility. He is obsessed with the fact his mother and I are bloggers, but when given the chance to run his own blog, he refuses to work for it, even though he swears he wants to blog. It’s unnerving and I really feel the pain of this woman who writes this. Bi-polar people have trouble keeping jobs. That’s the honest truth. Forget the manic part, because those are the worst days.

  I’d seriously make sure if he’s on meds he’s taking them and if not get him on them. Without meds, our son is so inappropriate that he’s out of control. At least on meds, he’s much easier to deal with. I don’t know what to say about living with him though because unfortunately, he’s going to have good days and bad days on medication or not.

• Aimee
  Oct 13, 2008 at 12:07 pm

  Wow this is a tough one. I would help him by continuing to present to him the things that he is good at and see the positives in his life. I am by no means though the expert!

• Jessi A
  Oct 13, 2008 at 12:36 pm

  I agree keep pointing out the strengths.

• Kristen
  Oct 13, 2008 at 12:52 pm

  This is tough… But it sounds like perhaps the younger brother needs a focus: a hobby/sport or job that can become a passion. Help finding this, along with some financial guidance, can be beneficial. Plus, I’m sure it isn’t easy being the youngest AND the one with bi-polar disorder. He probably needs the family to have positive and realistic expectations for him with encouragement to meet them.

• chris swanson
  Oct 13, 2008 at 1:21 pm

  Living with others is hard when everyone is pretty much alike but when some people are very different it is so much harder. We all have to give up the notion that you can change another person, only that person can change their behavior, and also their behavior is not your fault or a reflection on you. You can encourage a person to the right path but don’t be surprized if they don’t take your suggestion.

  Its hard but live your own life and let him live his and be their to help but don’t take over and do things for him.

• Cindi
  Oct 13, 2008 at 1:29 pm

  I have a very close friend whose brother had schizophrenia and I have found that the best thing one can attempt to do for them is keep them on their medication! Then, go from there. I have empathy for you. Cindi

• CanCan (Mom Most Traveled)
  Oct 13, 2008 at 1:47 pm

  Are there programs for people with these mental limitations to connect them with jobs that play to their strengths?

  I would probably get counseling for myself, too, to help me not take out my frustrations on my brother about how difficult it is to relate with him.

• Elizabeth M.
  Oct 13, 2008 at 2:32 pm

  I don’t have any experience with this so I’m not sure I can give advice but my first reaction was that if you can’t live together, don’t. You’ll find that you’re a better source of support and strength if you don’t have to deal with it all day long every day.

• Lindley
  Oct 13, 2008 at 3:01 pm

  I have a BIL with similar personality traits. We try using the tough love and refer him to resources or give him ideas to solve his own problems. Sometimes, he gets angry with us but we hope he will be grateful in the future.

• Audra
  Oct 13, 2008 at 4:21 pm

  I try to consider the source with many of my family members. Their comments still hurt but I know it is just how they are - take ‘em or leave ‘em.

• ikkinlala
  Oct 13, 2008 at 6:23 pm

  I’ve been lucky enough not to have to deal with these kinds of issues much, so I don’t have any useful advice. But I definitely agree that guidance is better than a handout.

• adrienne Gordon
  Oct 13, 2008 at 7:57 pm

  rockin blogtober

• Huguette E.
  Oct 13, 2008 at 7:58 pm

  I agree about helping him find a job and managing his money.

• charline s
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:02 pm

  I agree with you, handouts don’t help!

• Margaret Smith
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:06 pm

  I would reinforce and compliment his positive points. Be patient and understanding and most of all loving. Help him find interests that he can be proud of himself with, like a sport, (Karate?) or art. But most of all encourage him.

• karissa
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:09 pm

  easy for me to say, focus on the positive. I know they have great toys and fucntion lights and blocks now. I don’t know a lot to help your situation. I wish I did. I really do! GOOD LUCK! send you prayers and thoughts and hugs.

• Tonya Froemel
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:36 pm

  Thanks for the link to the Experience project. That was interesting.

• Rebecca Snodgrass
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:41 pm

  Thanks for the giveaway.

• Mia J.
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:47 pm

  My SIL is bipolar and is in a program where she lives in a program run apartment, she pays rent and goes to program run classes on how to become independent. She now has a job a couple days a week that she loves and is doing really well.

• Theresa Harnar
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:57 pm

  I have bi-polar and even though it’s very difficult at times you are always responsible for your own actions. You can try to help, but ultimately it is your brother’s responsibilty to understand and manage his illness so he can keep his relationships. Learning to do that for me was very difficult. I lost 3 close friends before I figured out how to manage my illness. It stinks but I recognize it as a consequence of my irrational behavior.

• Carol
  Oct 13, 2008 at 8:57 pm

  I would do everything I could for him, and I would get counseling myself to help me cope.

• Stacey Brown
  Oct 13, 2008 at 9:10 pm

  I work in the ER and see this daily, these people really need a good support system!

• gala
  Oct 13, 2008 at 9:52 pm

  I agree it’s easy for us to say, focus on the positive. You are in my prayers. Good bless and protect you and your family !

• Kelsey M
  Oct 13, 2008 at 10:18 pm

  All I can recommend is to try and get a bit of distance, it should help his behaviour get under your skin less if you know you have your own space to go to. I used to butt heads with my sister over everything, and we still do sometimes but it’s usually only when we’ve spent a lot of time together so it does help.

• Carolyn Nedrow
  Oct 13, 2008 at 11:10 pm

  I believe that it is very important to guide those that are bipolar to be responsible, but it is a struggle.
  cjnedrow@gmail.com

• Jill Myrick
  Oct 13, 2008 at 11:46 pm

  I would try to help turn all of the positives into something constructive that he would enjoy.
  To me patience is always a must. eif it requires walking away occasionally.
  Thank you so much for offering this wonderful giveaway.
  I would LOVE to win !!

• Terra Heck
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:29 am

  I have a brother that’s 30 and that describes him perfectly. Unfortunately, neither my family nor myself have come up with a solution yet. Just know that you’re not alone in your journey.

• loralie
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:37 am

  I’m glad I’m not in charge of the hard questions…

• AmandaK
  Oct 14, 2008 at 1:38 am

  I’m bi-polar myself, and for us, it can get hard sometimes because people end up giving up on us. Help him find a job. He’ll make his own money. He won’t be laying around the house doing nothing. And maybe, just maybe, his views on the world will change (one can hope.)

  Handouts definitely won’t help. It will just make him want more and more. He’ll soon come up with excuses to why he needs more handouts.

• Noreen
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:00 am

  I would probably not give money, offer love, spend time with the brother and offer help when asked, you can’t live someone else’s life and usually unsolicted advice is not wanted or heeded

• alice t
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:41 am

  Tigger sounds as if he needs a guiding hand, not a handout. If he needs help, he should certainly have it. But, his family has to stop enabling him to continue as he is now. His lack of direction or purpose now will not serve him later in life.

• Cathie
  Oct 14, 2008 at 3:28 am

  I really don’t have an answer to your problem, just letting you know there are those out there that care and pray for the best for you and your brother

• Carol Lawrence
  Oct 14, 2008 at 4:56 am

  Our 4 yr. old grandson has made great improvements with his bi-polar behavior. He has counselers and sees a specialist. His violent behavior to his siblings has all but stopped,so there is hope.

• Susan Burch
  Oct 14, 2008 at 5:12 am

  Give a man a fish & he eats for a day; teach him how to fish and he never goes hungry. (or something like that).

• Lynn H
  Oct 14, 2008 at 7:10 am

  Hand outs are not the solution!

• Richard H
  Oct 14, 2008 at 7:10 am

  Help him find a job and with finances

• Denise B.
  Oct 14, 2008 at 7:18 am

  It’s really sad to see how over-medicated our society has become. There seems to be a prescription for everything these days, a medical disorder for things once deemed normal problems. I would always go with some kind of counselling first. It’s hard to find a good counsellor, but you can if you shop around.

• Kathy Scott
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:27 am

  I am wishing you the patience to work thru this.

• david basile
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:43 am

  thanks for the chance

• Susan C
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:02 am

  Oh my gosh! Her son sounds just like mine who suffers from schizophrenia. I have been unable to find any help and a job is out of the question! I would love some advice too!

• Danai
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:02 am

  We (me and my sister) deal with our father who is a constant bi-polar rollercoaster. He will do little to help himself. If your brother is receptive, my first thoughts are counseling, perhaps medication and lots of love from the family.

• Monique Rizzo
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:05 am

  I think Guidance and a loving yet firm hand is much better than handing them whatever they need without working at it!

• Darcy
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:07 am

  Help him to a point, but he is ultimately responsible for his life. Thank you for the giveaway!

• Michael Capp
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:11 am

  I’d love to win!

• Christy Hickman
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:12 am

  My father dealt with bipolar disorder and it was so hard on the whole family. Just try to be there for each other because you all need each other. Try to find others who have been or are going through the same thing. It helps to know that there are others going through the same thing. Hang in there. It isn’t easy but just continue to support each other.

• Shannon Asbell
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:13 am

  Great giveaway

• Kasey P
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:17 am

  My sisters son is bi-polar and for years they said that he had add and they tried him on so many meds and each one affected him differently. When she finally did find a doctor that could help and they got his meds regulated. Now though that he’s 16 and wants to handle things on his own my sister is finding that if she does not monitor him taking his meds he won’t take them and then he starts acting out. It’s pretty scary to think about how his is going to be when he’s in his 20’s or even later, but right now she just takes it one day at a time.

• Holly
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:38 am

  It is important to love them no matter what. Make sure that they know they can come to you when needed. Strive to give him “life tools”.

  I’d love to win the “suprise gift”

• Shari D
  Oct 14, 2008 at 9:41 am

  I would make sure that he has counselling,try to find agencies that could offer him outlets for the excess energy, oh,and find a good spa where she can renew after an especially trying week.

• Shirley Hodge
  Oct 14, 2008 at 10:24 am

  When my kids were growing up the Sesame Street people (puppets) were all the in things. I can still identify with them and Kermit the Frog’s favorite saying still resounds in my soul “it ain’t easy being green” One of my favorite times with my kids was reading Dr. Seuss stories. I don’t know who enjoyed it most them or me. Love the cadence of Theodor Geisel’s writing and loved reading them.

• Karen
  Oct 14, 2008 at 10:33 am

  Gosh I love surprises!!

• MARILOUISE
  Oct 14, 2008 at 11:21 am

  I think the biggest thing one can do to help someone with problems is to refuse to enable. Sometimes saying no is so hard but in the end it is what is best. I agree to keep pointing out the strengths is very positive.

• CATHI RUSHING
  Oct 14, 2008 at 11:43 am

  GREAT SWEEPS

• Elena
  Oct 14, 2008 at 11:55 am

  That is a tough situation–wish I knew the answer myself!

• Jennifer M
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:01 pm

  Sounds like some tough love is in order!

• Kirby McCauley
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:06 pm

  My grandmother is a Tigger of the most obnoxious breed. Loud, messy (she suffers from OCHD), racist, sexist, and also manic-depressive. The woman has been on every med imaginable, spent 3 months on a psych ward, even been treated with EST, but nothing has ever helped. The horrible truth is that sometimes there’s absolutely nothing you can do.

• veronica sandberg
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:07 pm

  Over meditated–is that a sore subject. My brother was over meditated by doctors and ended up addicted to them

• Gloria S
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:16 pm

  A good support system.

• M.A.
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:25 pm

  How old is this “younger brother”? Might be that he just needs a little bit more growing-up-time. Nonetheless he seems to need guidance, counseling, love, concern, gentle advice, a willing ear…just not hand-outs or nagging.

• Jason
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:27 pm

  Nice giveaway, I want to win !! Thanks !!!

• Kate
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:30 pm

  He needs professional help and medication. Too often people try to help mentally ill or addicted people by enabling the behavior. It is hard to let go and let them fall apart so they can find the help they need.

• paige chandler
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:38 pm

  My family and I LOVE SURPISES.

• Diana G
  Oct 14, 2008 at 12:53 pm

  difficult being that i have no experience in this. maybe help him find a job that is in an area that he would be totally into and could focus all his energy on. I would recommend a life counselor.

• Anne Pichette
  Oct 14, 2008 at 1:01 pm

  My brother is bipolar and for many years he was a big worry to me. He finally got on the right medications and has stayed on the medications for a number of years now. He is much better. He has his limitations. He can only work part time but he has been at the same job for a number of years and his employers really like him.
  Hang in there it takes time for them to find their way.

• djp
  Oct 14, 2008 at 1:06 pm

  this better be good, cause i’m gonna’ win this one

• Angela J
  Oct 14, 2008 at 1:15 pm

  I would enlist all the help and advice from anyone around on how to cope and form a plan to do what’s best for the person who is afflicted.

• Shilo Beedy
  Oct 14, 2008 at 1:31 pm

  I never experienced that before but I imagine it has to be a difficult thing to deal with.

• Paula Harmon
  Oct 14, 2008 at 1:54 pm

  Well, he is young, he may just surprise you and change in a couple years…maybe a good role model can show him the way, he may not want to listen to a sister’s advice, my boys never listen to their older sister…at all!!!

• Connie Coe
  Oct 14, 2008 at 1:59 pm

  Being bi-polar is hard on everyone involved. Being both would be even harder.

• beth shepherd
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:06 pm

  Thank you for having this. I would try to stay positive and pray about it. Thank you!
  tatertot374@sbcglobal.net

• Lori Williams
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:38 pm

  My son had some of those traits and was not bi -polar, schizophrenic, etc. Just a bratty, angry young man. He grew out of it, but most likely your brother won’t unless he is on medication. You didn’t mention his age or which meds he has tried, if any. I doubt opinions on this subject will help you as much as you need it. You should speak to a professional for the best recommendations. Good luck!

• Emily
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:42 pm

  Just want something free…hey, at least I’m honest. :-)

• Casey H
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:49 pm

  I’d love to take part in the blogtoberfest fun!!

• Tarah
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:53 pm

  My sister is bi-polar and without meds they’re not the best people to live with by any means!

• Maja
  Oct 14, 2008 at 2:58 pm

  love it

• Ashley
  Oct 14, 2008 at 3:32 pm

  I’m an only change and have no experience with bi-polar. however i would pretty much make it to where he had to get a job or he would have no money and NOBODY would give him any unless he’s making an effort

• reeva
  Oct 14, 2008 at 3:35 pm

  Guidance is the right direction.

  I’m having so much fun blog hopping during Blogtoberfest!

  I hope I’m chosen as the lucky winner! :)

• Susan Smith
  Oct 14, 2008 at 3:39 pm

  Sounds like a difficult situation

• susan varney
  Oct 14, 2008 at 4:22 pm

  everybody needs positive support at one time or another people need people some more than others - be available

• Linda
  Oct 14, 2008 at 4:42 pm

  Sound advice prevails over a handout.

• Vicky Boackle
  Oct 14, 2008 at 5:03 pm

  surprises are the best.

• valerie mabrey
  Oct 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm

  count me in to win

• Vergie
  Oct 14, 2008 at 5:17 pm

  it hurt when your mind is sick

• G. L. PENROD
  Oct 14, 2008 at 5:19 pm

  SWEET

• Jennifer Hedden
  Oct 14, 2008 at 6:02 pm

  enter me

• A
  Oct 14, 2008 at 6:09 pm

  I have a friend who is BP. It is very tough and I don’t have any profound advice to give :(. I just wish there was a “cure”.

• Joyce Jacobs
  Oct 14, 2008 at 6:11 pm

  It’s hard to strike a balance between being loving and supportive enough, and being TOO supportive, if that makes sense. I wish I had words of wisdom to share with you.

• Sandy
  Oct 14, 2008 at 6:53 pm

  all I can offer is ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) and maybe call your local state agency and ask if there is an agency- nonprofit that can help find him a job and livng on his own

• Gina Stratos
  Oct 14, 2008 at 7:12 pm

  count me in
  gkstratos@yahoo.com

• susan p
  Oct 14, 2008 at 7:37 pm

  please enter me thank you

• Michelle Simons
  Oct 14, 2008 at 7:38 pm

  I want in too.

• wana
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:14 pm

  Please enter me….love to win!

• Tracy W.
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:26 pm

  This is why patience is a virtue.

• Erica C.
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:26 pm

  neat!

• Barbara Hunt
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:28 pm

  so sad

• Debra F
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:40 pm

  Thanks for hosting the surprise giveaway. Hope to win.

• Chrysa
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:51 pm

  That is a rough situation. I don’t have any great advice other than try to be supportive if you can.

• Joseph Stowell
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:53 pm

  I like honey too!

• wendy wallach
  Oct 14, 2008 at 8:55 pm

  Patience is the hardest trait when you are dealing with someone with a chronic illness..

• Andrea Evans
  Oct 14, 2008 at 10:29 pm

  Thank you for the very interesting read.

• Richard
  Oct 14, 2008 at 10:35 pm

  It would be great to win a “surprise gift”.

  Continue to love someone who has mental issues. They need to really feel your love.

• Sarah Z
  Oct 14, 2008 at 10:42 pm

  The more self-sufficient, the better for everyone involved!

• kristi blackstone
  Oct 14, 2008 at 10:53 pm

  I’d lovvve to win!

• MissesMM
  Oct 15, 2008 at 12:23 am

  Love and support…and I don’t mean financial support. This must be so tough for them.
  Once you are an adult though, sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation and live your own life with your own family.

• Kathryn Bakken
  Oct 15, 2008 at 12:30 am

  I don’t know alot about this disorder, but I do know that learning all you can about bi-polar is the first step. New treatments are discovered every day. I hope you find your answers.

• Courtney S
  Oct 15, 2008 at 12:36 am

  Wow, hard situation. I would help him to try to better his situation by finding a job and just being there for him although I don’t know if that would fix anything.

• Amy G.
  Oct 15, 2008 at 12:57 am

  One suggestion is medication. While it may not completely help the bipolar symptoms, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

• Melinda L Smith
  Oct 15, 2008 at 1:11 am

  I have suffered with bipolar depressive disorder for 19 years now. It is a very lonely state of mind to be in.It is such an isolating ilness,with a lot of negative self doubt.There are mornings when I physicaly cannot get out of bed and do any activities of daily living.It is very amazing how ones brain can switch from happy to sad,to doing many things at once and then not being able to do anything at all.
  All I can say from my experience of this illness is that we do need positive reinforcement,some one to listen to us talk when we are feeling down,and a lot of love.Medication should be taken if prescribed by the doctor,too.

• Pamela
  Oct 15, 2008 at 1:34 am

  All I can think of is Brenda and Billy from Six Feet Under… Maybe she should encourage his independence and not take care of him.

• Mary Jenkins
  Oct 15, 2008 at 1:42 am

  Everyone in my family, self included, is looney tunes so the brother sounds normal to me! My mom is bi-polar, and I was always trying to “fix” her. She said she was used to her way of functioning and happy that way. It was me that was bothered by her mental illness. I just had to learn to let her live her life on her terms.

• Jessica A
  Oct 15, 2008 at 1:50 am

  enter me please:) imjessica@mail.com

• Joy Venters
  Oct 15, 2008 at 2:02 am

  be patient - listen carefully

• Erica
  Oct 15, 2008 at 2:58 am

  Well, I don’t know if how good my advice is, but you should encourage him to seek therapy and couseling. Hopefully, with a strict drug regimen his behavior can be controlled. It sounds mean, but you don’t need to give him money or enable him. The disease is not his fault, but he can make a choice as to how he wants to deal or not deal with it. Thanks for the giveaway.

• David
  Oct 15, 2008 at 3:54 am

  That is interesting, thanks.

• Monica B
  Oct 15, 2008 at 4:00 am

  Surprises rock.

• jen gersch
  Oct 15, 2008 at 6:02 am

  always tell them strengths

• Michele C
  Oct 15, 2008 at 6:31 am

  My youngest brother is bipolar as well as my ex brother in law. They are so different yet similiar, I suppose b/c of the traits associated with being bipolar.

  You can only teach them and help them with what they need to get by. My bil has been through the homes where they teach him to manage his money, cook, clean and take care of himself. I think giving them the skills they need will help some. Some ppl it helps and unfortunately, in my BIL’s case sometimes it doesn’t.

• Kay Fischler
  Oct 15, 2008 at 7:42 am

  So sorry about your brother but I really don’t have any good advice. Sounds like you are doing the right thing.

• Rebecca Peters
  Oct 15, 2008 at 9:44 am

  Thank you..

• Christine W
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:09 am

  I agree with some of the posts above…handouts don’t make the situation any better. Thanks for the chance to win!

• Debi
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:10 am

  I wish I had some advise, but I don’t. I do wish you could talk with someone about how to handle it. I will keep you in my thought!

• Melissa B.
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:15 am

  I’m not too familiar with Bipolar Disorder. I think most people improve with age and experience. Encourage the right experiences and they will be better for it in the long run.

• Marie
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:24 am

  I was always taught that it’s better to teach a skill then to give a handout — the skill will last longer and be of greater benefit.

• kathy pease
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:29 am

  PLEASE COUNT ME IN ON THIS AWESOME GIVEAWAY :)

• Mary Hanson
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:43 am

  I love these blogs - so much to learn from everyone!

• Karen Gonyea
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:56 am

  Just a shoulder to lean on. It’s all you can do :)

• Betty C
  Oct 15, 2008 at 12:04 pm

  I had a friend with a 3 year old son who had all the symptoms of bi-polar. She didn’t want to medicate so she worked hard at keeping him busy. As long as she could find something for him to do he was fine. Eventually he discovered a hobby that became his livelihood. I have always admired her because I don’t think I could have accomplished what she did.

• Laura G
  Oct 15, 2008 at 12:36 pm

  I don’t know anyone personally who is BP, but I’d advise lots of patience and prayers. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.

• Kirsten
  Oct 15, 2008 at 12:56 pm

  I can’t add anything not listed here…..medications…and time apart. Like dealing with any difficult situation or person, periodic breaks from them……staying with friends for a night, a relative, etc.

• John Deal
  Oct 15, 2008 at 1:22 pm

  I guess you just have to try to be there for them when they need you emotionally.

• Robin H.
  Oct 15, 2008 at 1:58 pm

  My oldest Sister was married to a bi-polar and
  the only way he was fine was on his meds but
  he never wanted to take his meds when he felt fine. It was extremely tough for her to deal with his highs and lows his weird ideas his bouts of so low he wouldn’t even talk to anyone or his highs when he would want to spend everything in the bank account.

• Jennifer C.
  Oct 15, 2008 at 2:00 pm

  Being shown the way instead, even if it takes several times, is going to be best in the long run than relying on handouts his whole life.

• Jennifer S.
  Oct 15, 2008 at 2:01 pm

  I wish I could give you some advice on this one, but I really have no experience with this type of thing to draw off of. I do want you to know that I am loving Blogtoberfest! Surprises are such fun!

• Kayce
  Oct 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm

  My family is pretty warped too.

• Renee Turner
  Oct 15, 2008 at 2:37 pm

  He needs love and support. Don’t give up on him. All he needs is the correct medication. It took me many months to find the right medicinal cocktail, but once I did, my life changed. Without the support of my family, I would not be here.

• Janice Wright
  Oct 15, 2008 at 2:55 pm

  Oh how I love surprises! Thanks for the giveaway.

• hazel hunt
  Oct 15, 2008 at 3:57 pm

  Wow this is a tough one. I would help him by continuing to present to him the things that he is good at and see the positives in his life.

• Carrie Miyake
  Oct 15, 2008 at 3:59 pm

  This is a difficult subject to judge on. I have a sister that is Bi-polar and has some of the same traits as the writers brother. She has gotten a little better as she has aged but she is still hard to deal with most of the time. We went through the spending problem and I had to sit down with her and work out a budget. First we started with her tracking every penny she spent. I gave her a small notebook to write everything down in and at the end of the month we looked at it and pointed out where she was wasting money. This has worked well and she is now living in her own apartment. She still needs budgeting help but is doing great.

• Heather
  Oct 15, 2008 at 4:23 pm

  I am sorry you are struggling with your brother. I think it is fair to say that in this economy we are all struggling with money and you are not in a position to give right now.

• Leah J
  Oct 15, 2008 at 4:33 pm

  As I don’t know much of this behavior, all I can tell you is continue to be the best mom you can be! And I believe you are doing a great job with the situation you’ve been handed. God will never ever give you more than you can handle :) Oh and tigger is my sons favorite, lol…
  oh and on a happy note - cheers to blogtoberfest!! :)

• Stacie R.
  Oct 15, 2008 at 5:03 pm

  Thanks for the opportunity!!

• theodore esteghamat
  Oct 15, 2008 at 5:06 pm

  I love surprises.

• Ann
  Oct 15, 2008 at 5:43 pm

  I am glad this story is not about you and I feel for the people involved in it. My son has severe ADHD, it is a daily struggle but we love him so much we are willing to do anything and everything.
  Thank you and Happy Holidays

• April
  Oct 15, 2008 at 6:08 pm

  The best thing I think you could do is take the advice given to me once in regards to a family member: realize that you have no control over anyone but yourself, and you are not responsible for how anyone else behaves. It is not your fault, and you cannot change another person. Be supportive, but make sure you set boundaries for your own sake. It was very hard advice to implement, but at least I felt less guilt about not being able to fix everyone.

• Dawn Yates
  Oct 15, 2008 at 6:54 pm

  I would strongly suggest counseling and meds, if necessary. I work with kids who have this illness and the difference is amazing. Education about bipolar is also crucial. Good luck and thanks for the giveaway.

• janet
  Oct 15, 2008 at 6:57 pm

  Thank you for the great giveaway! :)

• Becky Grady
  Oct 15, 2008 at 7:26 pm

  I would “support” him by helping him find medical care and a good therapist. I would also try to find a support group for the family. People who have been there can offer much better advice than I can.

• Millicent C.
  Oct 15, 2008 at 7:31 pm

  I really dont have any thoughts to help you out anymore than what has already been posted.. I will be thinking of you and yours and I agree with you handouts wont help…

• michael woods
  Oct 15, 2008 at 7:33 pm

  I think that trying to normalize the life of anyone whether they have a mental or physical disability is the way to go. Thats positve support, which is different from sheltering or smothering

• Joanna Smith
  Oct 15, 2008 at 7:34 pm

  I am so glad to find your website and blog and great timing with Blogtoberfest! Thank you for running this fun mystery giveaway! I have learned so much from reading what others have said on blogs and it is a great way “meet” great people online. I look forward to visiting here often!

• Jill Miller
  Oct 15, 2008 at 8:55 pm

  I used to work with a bi-polar woman….she was out of control and a hinderance to everyone in the workplace. BUT….when she took her medication properly she was a joy to be around.

• Samantha Pruitt
  Oct 15, 2008 at 9:45 pm

  nice giveaway!

• Gary Osborn
  Oct 15, 2008 at 9:47 pm

  Wooo Hooo Make me a winner!

• Tracey R
  Oct 15, 2008 at 10:34 pm

  I absolutely love surprises too! Thanks!

• Heather C
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:11 pm

  I’m going to have to check that page out. Thanks!

• Donna K
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:35 pm

  I like Pooh

• Julianne
  Oct 15, 2008 at 11:39 pm

  I have my ideas of what advice I would give if this was a friend who was truly open. I definitely think pure nutrition and holistic supplements work better than the psych meds, but I know that just angers most people at me. So I keep silent unless it is a friend who WANTS my advice.

• Christie
  Oct 16, 2008 at 3:10 am

  You have a great blog here and I am happy to enter your giveaway for Blogtoberfest.

• Lily Kwan
  Oct 16, 2008 at 6:39 am

  Please enter me into the contest. Thanks!

• Diana Corlett
  Oct 18, 2008 at 12:12 am

  All I have to add really is this: There but by the grace of God, go I. It could have happened to any one of us. And while it is unbelieveably difficult for the family it is sheer hell for the one who is mentally ill.

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