Kinsanity - Real Life Family Dysfunction

Blended Families - Stepparenting

by Lara on October 3rd, 2008

With divorce rates as high as they are, and more women having children out of wedlock, America’s “blended family” is a concept that’s not as unusual as it once was.

Stepparents

One of the biggest struggles with stepmothers or stepfathers is when the children use that famous line, “You’re not my mom, you can’t tell me what to do!” Or, “My dad is a better baseball coach than you are!”

These lines can be quite hurtful, for both the adult and the child involved. What I think sometimes goes unrealized is that it’s something kids say to try to get out of a situation they’re unhappy with. Much like feigning sick to avoid a test at school, this is a ploy to get what they want - even if that “want” is to make their birth parent uncomfortable.

Kids need to learn to respect people as adults. It doesn’t matter who the birth parent is, if there is an adult put in place to care for a child, then bottom line the child needs to honor and respect that adult. They don’t go to school and tell the teacher, “I don’t have to listen to you, you’re not my Daddy,” do they? No.

So as a stepparent, it’s your responsibility to have a talk with the birth parent about things like this. Learn what the rules are that have been put in place for the child, and respect the wishes of the birth parents (yes, both of them) when it comes to discipline and rule enforcement.

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